i wish he would have been more sensitive.

or been less lazy.

and i really think it's not too much to ask from a guy.

if such small things cannot be achieved.

then is it even worth worth to give all my precious time to such a relationship.

yes i feel happy.

but there are certain things that i have to learn to let go.

no matter how much i feel i should accept one's flaws.

if the other party is not striving or at least trying to make the other happy what's the point then?

i noe i am not perfect.

but at least i am trying my best to maintain and also improve my relationship.

i dont my relationship to be a stationary boat.

i want a relationship that takes me sailing forward.

takes me to beautiful places that i can remember.

and not just staying on the same spot doing the same thing over and over.

not my intentions to make my blog sound so outdated.

all thanks to my internet at home i cant blog efficiently and uploading a picture would take more than 15 mins.

it is really that ridiculous..sigh.

promise that i'll try my best to upload and write so many things on what that has been happening.

i've literally cut myself from the society. hope i am coming out of my shell again..

and yeah i went to consult my doctor.

i might need to go for surgery after chinese new year.

looks like i'll be getting a similar scar at the similar place as shio's. just a smaller version i guess.

so much that i was worried the past months at least i feel abit better i guess.

but it's still better to go get a second opinion from a specialist or something.

dad knows but i plan to hide from mom and my grandpa and my grandma.

sighs.

missing since i was in malaysia.

all thanks to our tortoise broadband.

i was back in kl on the 5th of dec.

7th back to pg.

8th to fukuoka and to tokyo on the same day itself.

instead of feeling all excited to japan since it's my first time...um..i totally felt crapped up BIG TIME!

japan was okay but i expected more.

guess there will definitely be trip no.2

i've been hibernating ever since i came back BECAUSE:

1. i had culture shock.

2. just wanted to be pathetic for a while.

3. i'm beginning to be anti-social...to the extend that my friend have to drag me out of my house.

4. i feel more like a family person these days.

5. missing my boyfren too much puts me in a homey mood.

the above reasons/excuses may sound lame.

but they're unfortunately true.

and i enjoy the company of old men better. LOL.

i went out with my godfather today.

was awesome.

his experiences of the globe is...just one word...awesome:)

i wish i had a husband like him..or dad..or a balance of both.

abit more of his craziness in my dad would make a perfect husband.

i've learnt two things:

1. to never ever take life so seriously..because our time here is short..

and

2. to not look at things like i'm looking at an aquarium..i should be IN the aquarium instead..then i feel better.

sighs.

who wants me to be their employee.

broke and unemployed.

that's me:)