OMG.

i am so excited. because i'd be planning and confirming another trip by tomorrow.

yippie.

i cannot wait!!!

langkawi underwater:)

back from heaven :)

my 1 night stay in bon ton was...

non-descriptive...just heaven.

definitely return. local people in langkawi are so friendly. very nice of them:)

i love the kampung houses there. such kampung feeling is quite rare in penang these days. or maybe i've never really taken the opportunity to explore ulu places..

oh well..whatever..typing this post makes me smile. that's because i was in heaven a day ago:)

i cannot wait to splatter this post with these gorgeous pictures :p



pei pei call him the ADD kid. dont be fooled by his innocent look..he can be very very cheeky :p



coming back.


cenang beach.


pei packing because we're leaving for pg :(


sun BAKING.


my partner in crime.


ooo...the eyes...


the best satay and vegetarian pizza..or maybe it's just cause i'm hungry...



bon ton's 4 legged orphans.




my dream toilet. wooden and open air. i want people to smell my shit :)




i love old skool traditional junks like these..

i've been confusing myself these days...

chuan.....

the fake sakura in penang.

perhaps it's time.

life in penang as boring as it may be...

i had quite some dramas going on.

awkwardness even when i'm trying to fit in.

an argument with one of my closest because of a peanut problem.

unhappy with things that are going on with my love.

can things get any worst???

i need to go to cotton island!

i need to go to heaven in jungle!

in times like this i really want to SHOUT MY HEART OUT!!!!!!!!!!

take a deep breath & just let go.

whatever has happened..they're for a reason.

i've probably tried my best and i've had enough.

i shouldn't put on a fake face acting like everything is okay when it's not.

no point trying to mix with many friends when you are not comfortable with half you mix with.

oh well..

i am so pissed.

pissed because he is childish.

because there were many occasions that we've seen the consequences to others that i thought it would have thought us a lesson.

but no. he's still as naive.

'it wont happen'

fuck it. i'm not worth to you i guess.

it's me on the line here and not you.

so why should you even fucking bother in the first place.

i know i should not entirely blame you because i have never tried hard enough to advise you...

but come on..i'd always lecture you on such issues.

anyway it's been done.

i'm disappointed. very.

sigh.

i've been too free. lol.

what have i'm been doing?

thinking alot.

about?

alot of things. lol.

okay. here's the shit.

i've been making my hamsters upstairs run overtime thinking about the most over discussed topic, friends.

i love my friends. but to what extend?

loving them for old times sake doesn't sound as good enough.

is it me being just a bummer too lazy to keep intouch makes every relationship's worth slowly slipping away?

or is it them who's changed that i find these new changes unadaptable?

since i've been back i went from being anti social kau to putting at least some effort to get my ass out of the house.

it only took a few incidents for me to realise and accept that maybe things are just not how it used to be.

and trust among us might have been slipping away unconsciously.

since aussie, i rarely trust people like how i used to.

i feel very insecure even with friends i'm really close to.

to the extend that i am not sure if i'm doing the right thing.

the line between the truth and a lie is very vague to me.

and maybe protecting myself by cutting down my friends and keeping my mouth zip i thought was the only way. so that was my initial plan.

come to think of it i'm just being selfish. always scared of the same repeats. with the consequences of not being able to feel what real friendship is.

maybe i am still at a crossroads. still in the midst of maturing. i think alot about why this and why that. questions with answers that were pretty obvious.

but like dad has once told me,

'in certain decisions you make, it's about making satisfactory decisions. it may be a win win situation for a yes and no answer'

i think it does make sense.

as you grow older you tend to find more flaws in humans.

and those imperfections are the ones that makes them them.

humans are not being created to be perfect gods.

and it is through past and future experiences that would make me a wiser person in choosing which friendships are worth.

*sighs*

writing this down makes me feel lighter somehow.

i've always craved of those happy times i've shared with close people.

these days i feel more like an actress feeling happy with a forced carved smile on my face.

my heart tells me that the company was just satisfactory and it just didn't feel as awesome as the old times.

i know i sometimes think to complicatedly.

and yes i shall try to loosen up abit. lol.

omfg.

please make all my vacation trips a success.

i might be going to batam island with shiao.

and i am overly excited because i have been too lifeless in penang.

right after baby's birthday it's a confirmation that we're going to japamala resort down south.

i super dont care. we must go.

in april leh? i haven't gotten anything planned out yet but i'd most probably would like to go on a roadtrip anywhere as long as it's malaysia.

after april and i'd be so broke i'd need a job by then.

if all of these goes well.

i'd be happier than a shark who's just gotten a wholesome bite.

and my current toppest fav destination in my whole wide world is bora bora. expensive but i'm sure it's worth the every penny spent. sighs.

*fingers crossed*