more open i would say.

oh my god.

i know this is just so wrong.

so wrong.

after breaking up with mike i realiesed i have been heading in the wrong direction.

i feel so high above others.

i go on dates like nobody's business.

i play around with hearts.

ah may would not do that.

it's just not my philosophy in life.

i cannot keep giving excuses that it is because of mike i became this and that,

and blablablabla.

fark.

what is the point if i'd to do all this?

mike will turn back? no.

mike will care? no.

just spoiling my image? yes.

just to prove to him that so many guys just want a piece of me? um..yes.

but does he even give a shit? um..yeah he did call.

but so what?

ah may wake up.

i know i am not like that.

eversince i am single my self esteem overflowed.

it is not good.

even i i manage to catch attention, they're probably from the attention of the wrong guys.

just guys who want to fark around.

i shouldn't spoil myself this way.

i used to have strong principles.

but it has all changed.

i'm sometimes scared i would say.

scared of the disappointment and the outcome of it.

being hurt twice in my whole entire life is enough.

enough to kill my heart.

i don't fall in love so easily anymore.

these days.

i'd only like someone very much.

it makes me worry.

i don't want to not have emotions.

i never knew that it would have caused such an impact.

after my party the other day,

no more indecent or pang pua liap for me.

at the mean time la.

like mom always say,

showing too much,

guys see until sien

show abit,

it keeps those guys guessing.

anyway.

am jetting off to bed.

dead tired.

and triple kiong kan max.

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