back from heaven :)

my 1 night stay in bon ton was...

non-descriptive...just heaven.

definitely return. local people in langkawi are so friendly. very nice of them:)

i love the kampung houses there. such kampung feeling is quite rare in penang these days. or maybe i've never really taken the opportunity to explore ulu places..

oh well..whatever..typing this post makes me smile. that's because i was in heaven a day ago:)

i cannot wait to splatter this post with these gorgeous pictures :p



pei pei call him the ADD kid. dont be fooled by his innocent look..he can be very very cheeky :p



coming back.


cenang beach.


pei packing because we're leaving for pg :(


sun BAKING.


my partner in crime.


ooo...the eyes...


the best satay and vegetarian pizza..or maybe it's just cause i'm hungry...



bon ton's 4 legged orphans.




my dream toilet. wooden and open air. i want people to smell my shit :)




i love old skool traditional junks like these..

i've been confusing myself these days...

chuan.....

the fake sakura in penang.

perhaps it's time.

life in penang as boring as it may be...

i had quite some dramas going on.

awkwardness even when i'm trying to fit in.

an argument with one of my closest because of a peanut problem.

unhappy with things that are going on with my love.

can things get any worst???

i need to go to cotton island!

i need to go to heaven in jungle!

in times like this i really want to SHOUT MY HEART OUT!!!!!!!!!!

take a deep breath & just let go.

whatever has happened..they're for a reason.

i've probably tried my best and i've had enough.

i shouldn't put on a fake face acting like everything is okay when it's not.

no point trying to mix with many friends when you are not comfortable with half you mix with.

oh well..

i am so pissed.

pissed because he is childish.

because there were many occasions that we've seen the consequences to others that i thought it would have thought us a lesson.

but no. he's still as naive.

'it wont happen'

fuck it. i'm not worth to you i guess.

it's me on the line here and not you.

so why should you even fucking bother in the first place.

i know i should not entirely blame you because i have never tried hard enough to advise you...

but come on..i'd always lecture you on such issues.

anyway it's been done.

i'm disappointed. very.

sigh.

i've been too free. lol.

what have i'm been doing?

thinking alot.

about?

alot of things. lol.

okay. here's the shit.

i've been making my hamsters upstairs run overtime thinking about the most over discussed topic, friends.

i love my friends. but to what extend?

loving them for old times sake doesn't sound as good enough.

is it me being just a bummer too lazy to keep intouch makes every relationship's worth slowly slipping away?

or is it them who's changed that i find these new changes unadaptable?

since i've been back i went from being anti social kau to putting at least some effort to get my ass out of the house.

it only took a few incidents for me to realise and accept that maybe things are just not how it used to be.

and trust among us might have been slipping away unconsciously.

since aussie, i rarely trust people like how i used to.

i feel very insecure even with friends i'm really close to.

to the extend that i am not sure if i'm doing the right thing.

the line between the truth and a lie is very vague to me.

and maybe protecting myself by cutting down my friends and keeping my mouth zip i thought was the only way. so that was my initial plan.

come to think of it i'm just being selfish. always scared of the same repeats. with the consequences of not being able to feel what real friendship is.

maybe i am still at a crossroads. still in the midst of maturing. i think alot about why this and why that. questions with answers that were pretty obvious.

but like dad has once told me,

'in certain decisions you make, it's about making satisfactory decisions. it may be a win win situation for a yes and no answer'

i think it does make sense.

as you grow older you tend to find more flaws in humans.

and those imperfections are the ones that makes them them.

humans are not being created to be perfect gods.

and it is through past and future experiences that would make me a wiser person in choosing which friendships are worth.

*sighs*

writing this down makes me feel lighter somehow.

i've always craved of those happy times i've shared with close people.

these days i feel more like an actress feeling happy with a forced carved smile on my face.

my heart tells me that the company was just satisfactory and it just didn't feel as awesome as the old times.

i know i sometimes think to complicatedly.

and yes i shall try to loosen up abit. lol.

omfg.

please make all my vacation trips a success.

i might be going to batam island with shiao.

and i am overly excited because i have been too lifeless in penang.

right after baby's birthday it's a confirmation that we're going to japamala resort down south.

i super dont care. we must go.

in april leh? i haven't gotten anything planned out yet but i'd most probably would like to go on a roadtrip anywhere as long as it's malaysia.

after april and i'd be so broke i'd need a job by then.

if all of these goes well.

i'd be happier than a shark who's just gotten a wholesome bite.

and my current toppest fav destination in my whole wide world is bora bora. expensive but i'm sure it's worth the every penny spent. sighs.

*fingers crossed*

snap snap.

randoms ones.


mom drew my eyebrow. she insisted they were just too light.


on darling liz's wedding.


the baby. bobo.




valentine's in bangsar.


my fav soft paw:)




up on my 'balcony'.




mine.


his.


his.


at the peranakan house in pg.


at cupcakes with shannel in aussie.


kl--------> pg.

maybe being a housewife is not my kind of thing.

i have been a housewife in acting and i'm driving myself crazy.

the more i stay home useless the more the rational part of my brain is eroding.

i think alot.. too much sometimes.

i get imsonia..maybe i'm just used to people sleeping beside me.

having a long distance relationship again..missing uncle shio is driving me insane.

i sleep early in the morning and wake up late in the evening..am i not wasting my precious time????

sighs..

i know i should be doing something useful but i couldn't be bothered.

i'm getting lazier by the day that it scares me.

i'll go crazy if i continue my life this way.

there was a period when i totally lost my senses in thinking about what true happiness is.

i could see my dad shock for that moment..the person he knew at that second just didn't sound 'ME'.

i know i shouldn't make my life miserable.

i have the rights to choose.

and it was just wrong for me to make myself the shittiest person on earth.

just cause it's a little hump that i have to cross..i made it seemed impossible and a suffer.

making peanuts look like big shit..

i shouldn't be a pessy...

i should by right be an opty..

i know i can do it.

i've gone through alot to be at where i am today.

i shouldn't think my goals are vague because it's not.

all it takes is courage and a big heart in doing whatever i love most.

i know i have the potentials...i just chose to be lazy and not work for it.

i know i can do it!!!!

the place i call my second home in malaysia.

i went kl twice in since 2009.

i miss my boyfriend dearly.

and being back in pg sucks.

dont get me wrong i love my island to death.

not sure if i have gotten too dependent or it's just cause i've been staying home too much making me a miserable ball.

i have been thinking alot and it confuses me more.

i dont even know my goal in life now..

happiness or money..

tea or coffee?

sighs..i'd better be doing something to keep my hamsters running in my brain.



this is bobo the rockstar before his grooming.

singapore.

i was in singapore for the new year's.

i tried taking the water strips that was crawling on the window surface but what to do it was oni my baby digital cam. just didn't turn out clear..




i noe damn show off right..not my intentions.

just that i rarely get opps like that to travel business class..not unless i'm travelling with daddy.. lols.



the only sister :)

pictures from my jap trip too.

and i forgot to mention i met a couple of shiao's frens.

nune is this nice thai chick and i wised we could meet in the future again.. maybe in bangkok?

and shiao's housemates.

taiwanese and the were a helpful bunch. thanks for letting me stay:)

i realised i really have a thing for cables too other than buildings..

japan. the great land.

different prefectures possess different styles.

literally...

they share a common trait. all of them were polite and helpful:)

i had too many pictures to post up..i could never put my camera down seriously.

if i had a chance to go japan again i would.

these pictures were randomly selected though i want so much to post all up...

but here it is anyway..




japan ---------> penang



the land of kitty obsessions. lols.



buildings there makes me go gaga. i might not have any archi sense or background.. but i do have a thing for buildings..



i find japs into coca cola. i haven't seen any pepsi around in japan..



old skool and i love it.




things here are so cute. and every where i go in japan...i overused the word cute.



this little boy is so cute. and the one i'm holding is a crepe. pancake awesomeness.



a very decorative cake shop somewhere in a shibuya shopping place.



in ginza that is.



this hermes shop is HUGE.



the city of ginza, tokyo.



LV.



branded prestigious shops here are gigantic...and they have people in them..just imagine opening big ones in malaysia...would have been a ghost town ;)



ginza.



my hotel room..with an awesome big window..



my first morning in tokyo.



lights lit tokyo. i love it..

my next trip would most probably be at japamala tioman island..

am crossing my fingers it'll work..

i need a break. hehe.

omg.

i am so sorry i neglected my blog again when i could have written a shitload of nonsense.

anyway i am fine but boredom is how i feel everyday.

i feel fatigue everyday not wanting to crawl out my bed.

all i am ever dreaming of right now is a bloody relaxing long holiday.

sighs....

and yes i promised an update on my journey so far so here it is......

in my next post:)